Romantic attraction can seem an elusive beast at times, so we’ve compiled some key traits that guys look for in potential mates. The best part? None of these traits require you to go out and get plastic surgery.
Unsplash by Amir Taheri@amirtaheri
For as far back as anyone can remember, for better or for worse, the media has shaped the way we view the world and the people in it. So when you think about it, it’s no wonder that so many people are surprised, or reluctant to accept that men are attracted to more than just a pretty face. After all, we’ve had years of conditioning with movies, TV shows, and magazines consistently repeating the same message. That there is an ideal body image that men look for in a partner, whether it be for a one night stand or a spouse, and nothing else matters.
Their silence on the topic of personality, whether intentional or purposeful, has done the world a great disservice. It breaks my heart to see men and women lament over their physical appearance as if that’s the only way to attract a man. Too many people spend too many hours examining themselves in mirrors, or expressing how they would be the best version of themselves if only they had fuller lips, a smaller stomach, or a different nose. But, while sexy is attractive, everyone needs to remember that the term sexy applies to more than just one’s physical appearance. Being sexy is as much, if not more, about exuding a certain kind of aura as it is about having a particular hairstyle or body shape. And the best part? Everyone is capable of changing or improving these key characteristics. It’s likely to be a bit easier on your pocketbook as well.
Unsplash by Daria Litvinova@ledariiam
Kindness Really Is Key
As cliche as it might sound, the first trait is also the most basic - just be kind. While you may already be rolling your eyes at this statement, it truly is one of the easiest and most desirable traits for both men and women. While it doesn’t take a lot to be kind, there isn’t a lot of advocation for it either. You’re more likely to find an article on the best kissing techniques than on the best ways to be a kind and caring partner, the media strikes again! Luckily for you, it doesn’t take a lot to be kind. Small gestures like being on time, letting your date order first, being polite to servers, or even offering to pay for the meal are not acts reserved solely for the men and can be clear ways to show consideration.
Unsplash by Caleb George@seemoris
Embrace Your Inner Confidence
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about guys or girls. Confidence is a universally accepted desirable trait, and admittedly one of the hardest to conquer. With so many outlets telling us who we should be, how we should act, and what we should wear, it’s challenging to exude the kind of confidence that attracts others. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t within reach. While we understand that it’s easier said than done, work on knowing who you are deep down and owning it. You are an amazing, unique individual, and while you may be on the lookout for a man, that doesn’t mean you need one to survive. Work on being secure, strong, and decisive, and the boys will be flocking to your side in no time.
Unsplash by Victoria Heath@vheath
It’s Better, to Be Honest Than Impressive
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time telling a convincing lie? Well, in this case, it’s working for you. While it should come as no surprise, men don’t like it when their romantic partner lies. Honesty is one of those things that can make or break any relationship. When it’s present, it provides a buffer from the difficulties that we face in the world. Just knowing that you have someone, you can rely on makes all the other problems seem more manageable. So it’s no wonder that the moment that trust is broken, even once, can mean the end of even the best relationships. You can’t have genuine trust in a relationship if you omit the truth or color the situation so that it looks just a little better. Sometimes trying to protect your partner can cause more trouble than it’s worth, so just try to be above-board in everything you do, and you should be fine.
Unsplash by Christina @ wocintechchat.com@wocintechchat
Quirky Is Cool
While there might be some truth behind the saying: “we all fear what we don’t understand,” it’s also true that we are intrigued by what we don’t know, especially when introduced by someone who has an evident passion for it. Creativity and exploration is part of what makes life, especially new relationships, exciting. He doesn’t have to share your passion for soap carving or quidditch, sometimes just being surrounded by the thrill of something new, and someone with a passion for it is enough to fuel the fires of love and affection. While they might not always say as much, just keep an eye out for that half-smile playing across their lips as they observe you in your element, that should tell you everything you need to know.
Unsplash by Noémi Macavei-Katócz@noemieke
Grounded When It Matters
It’s easy to get lost in a new relationship when there is so much to explore and experience with one another. But when the honeymoon ends and commitment sets in, men need a partner who is stable and willing to be real with them. Communication is crucial. You need to be able to calmly discuss problems and feelings rather than immediately start blaming one another. Unfortunately, we live in a time where many find it easier to abandon relationships at the first sign of trouble and search for the next best thing rather than work out their problems. Still, in the end, you’d only be dooming yourself to relationships on repeat. When your partner can count on you to work through issues rather than run away from them, they know that they’ve found a real keeper.
