I am a millennial mom, and all that means is I was born between two sets of dates. I could pretend I am a tech-savvy influencer who has all the answers, but instead, here is a peek into the average day of this millennial mom.
It’s strange to think that nowadays, millennial moms (those born between 1981 and 1996) are in the process of defining what it means to be a mother in the modern world. If you look at an analysis by the US Census Bureau, you’ll find that about one in five moms is a millennial, and 90 percent make up the 1.5 million women who became new mothers just last year.
Unsplash by Valeria Zoncoll
Who Are We?
What even is a millennial mom? I think trying to answer that question is about as easy as trying to define any mom, sure you can attach some generalizations and stereotypes, but the moment you walk up to the next millennial mother you meet you’re going to find that the definition falls short of the unique individual standing in front of you. One thing’s for sure, the definition of this millennial mom is undoubtedly still under review. I do my best to be as involved as possible, while not turning into that helicopter mom we all come across at the park. I try to employ a multitude of parenting techniques and am always testing out different child-raising philosophies. I desperately attempt to find a happy median between being that organic-puree-making mom and the one who shoves goldfish at them so they will finally stop crying. At the end of the day, who knows if I succeed at being what they call a “good mother,” and maybe my definition will simply end with “here lies a woman who tried her best, and will try again tomorrow.”
Unsplash by Mateus Campos Felipe
The Perfect Mom is a Perfect Myth
Like most millennial moms, if I am lucky enough to wake up before my kids, my mornings usually consist of a quick check-in on social media. Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, it’s too easy to fall in love with parenting and the ideal of what a mother should look like, and honestly, it helps me start my day on the right foot. A positive outlook on life if you will. I love looking through the matching mommy and me baby outfits, the cute family photos, and the inspirational quotes that talk about what the ideal mother should be. But let’s be realistic, no one’s life looks like that - and those adorable photos? Well, there are probably 23 similar images that didn’t turn out quite so well. Social media and entertainment will delude you into thinking that you’ll still have the time and energy to do everything you did before kids. You’ll wake up early to work out; have time to shower AND shave your legs, do your hair, and put on a perfect layer of makeup on the first try before heading off to lovingly wake up your little darling with a kiss and a “how did you sleep?” Please, don’t make me laugh.
Probably more than half the time, I am nowhere near lucky enough to wake up before my kid starts screaming. Now, I will freely admit that I am not a morning person, but I am sure I am not alone in that sentiment. My mornings usually consist of jumping out of bed and throwing something on (something that is hopefully clean), rushing to make breakfast only to drop it on the floor and decide that cereal again is probably good enough, and bustling the kids out the door to the first of their activities. I try my best to be as perfect as I can, but most days, I have to settle for being perfectly imperfect.
Unsplash by Annie Spratt
Working Hard or No Actually Just Working Hard
While some mothers would love to be traditional stay-at-home moms, the reality is that it’s just not possible for the average woman in today’s climate. Back in the ‘90s, families could get by with only one income, but despite the cost of living increases, the fact is a dollar doesn’t stretch as far as it once did. In our area, the lowest price of a reliable daycare was $1,800/month, and either due to poor planning or high standards, we ended up paying closer to $2,100/month, and that was for only one kid! So once we were expecting our second kid, we understood that one of us would need to stay home.
Still, life is expensive, and we couldn’t afford to lose the extra income my job had provided (even minus the exorbitant cost of daycare), so the side-hustle search began. Nowadays, whether it’s early morning (haha yeah right), noon (most likely), or night (only if I have deadlines to meet), I find the time to squeeze in some words. On the best of days, like today, my attention-demanding daughter will happily play in our backyard while I finish up an assignment, but most days, we do the best we can.
Unsplash by Filip Kowalski
Bad Day? Tomorrow is only a day away.
At least by the time you’re putting your little one to sleep, no matter how bad or weird things might have gotten during the day, there is a reset button, and tomorrow we can start fresh, yet again. Tomorrow we will only allow one episode of Daniel Tiger rather than three … or four, tomorrow we will make sure they eat a nutritious meal full of fruits and veggies rather than caving and giving them another bowl of sugar cereal, tomorrow (hopefully) we will catch them before they put that piece of dog poop into their mouth. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and do you want to know the best part about being a millennial mom? It’s something that hasn’t changed from one generation to the next. You’re never really alone. Sure our villages and communities have gone digital, but they’re there nonetheless to help you through the uncertainty and pain. So hang in there and carry on, you majestic millennial mom you!
